TALAAQ – The Qura’nic Perspective

Man is a social animal. All human beings are bound by many relationships in their lives. One such bond is that of marriage. Strangely though - marriage is the strongest yet the most fragile relationship between a man and a woman. Qura’n gives us guidance regarding marriage right from the initiation of the relationship to enumerating the steps to be taken when things start going wrong between the couple. Allah (SWT) considered guidance to mankind for Talaaq so important that he named a chapter in the Qur’an Surah Talaaq.

Before we elaborate on the subject we need to keep certain facts in mind. Firstly, Allah (SWT) has created men and women biologically different. Women are not as strong as men. To compensate for this, Allah (SWT) ordered men of the family (father/brother if she is not married and husband after marriage) to protect and maintain her (4/34). Men should always keep in mind that in no way should they treat women in a way that will invite the displeasure of Allah (SWT).

Secondly, we were in the darkness of ignorance and Allah (SWT) has now shown us light through the Qura’nic Arabic classes. We need to have a fresh look at everything in the light of the Qura’n akin to formatting our brains, thereby erasing all the wrong information, which had been stored in our minds until now. The wrong information is like viruses damaging our disks (brains). Once we are ready for this formatting inshaAllah Allah (SWT) will show us the truth and help us to follow it without ifs and buts.

For those of us who still have some reluctance in formatting our disks because we do not want to disregard the knowledge given by our leaders and great men …let us remind ourselves verses 33/66, 67, 68

”On the day when their faces will be tossed about (roasted) in the fire, they will exclaim, ”Oh, wish we had paid heed to Allah, and paid heed to the messenger!” And they will say: “ O our Lord! Behold, we paid heed to our leaders and our great men, and it is they who have led us astray from the right path! ”O our Lord! Give them double punishment, and banish them from Your grace!”

After the formatting process is complete, let us now take guidance from the Qura’n in matters concerning separation of husband and wife.

In 2/226 Allah (SWT) says "Those who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace; and if they go back (on their oath). Behold, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." The decision about continuation of the marriage relationship should be taken in four months.

Allah (SWT) then says in 2/227 "But if they decide on divorce, behold, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing".

In the case of a woman, where the husband fears ill conduct from her, Allah (SWT) in 4/34 has enumerated steps to be taken before the final decision of divorce is arrived at for such a couple. “And as for those women from whom you fear ill conduct, admonish them (first), then leave them alone in bed (and lastly) set forth the impending separation to them, but if they pay heed then do not seek any means to harm them. Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.” 

What should the family members of the couple do when they cannot live together amicably? The advice is given in 4/35 “If you fear a breach between them (the couple), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her family; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.

If all else fails and the decision of divorce has been taken, Allah (SWT) advises in 2/228 “And the divorced women shall undergo (without remarrying) a waiting period of three menstrual periods: for it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah may have created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And during this period their husbands would do better to take them back, if they desire reconciliation; but in accordance with justice, the rights of wives (with regards to their husbands) are equal to the (husbands') right with regards to them, although men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Almighty, All-Wise."

As to where a divorced woman should stay after the divorce. Allah (SWT) gives instructions in 65/1 “Do not expel them from their homes nor should they leave (because of difficulties caused to them) except in case if they have committed open immorality. These are the bounds set by Allah and he who transgresses the bounds set by Allah does sin against himself.”

Please note that Allah (SWT) calls the marital home, even after the divorce, as their i.e., the woman’s, home. What do we see today…The moment a person says the word talaaq the poor woman is rendered homeless instantaneously whereas Allah calls the marital home as her home. Also in the ayah Allah (SWT) informs us that only a woman guilty of immorality deserves such a punishment.

Allah (SWT) instructs in 65/2 “Then when they are about to fulfill their waiting term, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take for witness two just persons from among you. And establish the witness for Allah. That will be an admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” Please note the instruction of taking 2 witnesses for divorce.

Allah again reiterates in 65/6 “Provide a place of residence for them (the divorced women) where you reside, according to your means, and do not treat them in such a harmful way that they may be compelled to leave.”

If there is no reconciliation during the waiting period, the couple can part ways (even after one divorce) in an amicable manner as mentioned. And if they have reconciliation during the 3-month waiting period and subsequently there again arises some discord between the couple, once again the family members should appoint arbitrators as advised in 4/35. Again, if all else fails and the decision of divorce is taken, Allah’s instructions in 2/228 and 65/2 have to be followed.

However, the couple should keep in mind that the decision to divorce can be revoked only twice as is mentioned in 2/229 "A divorce may be (revoked) twice, whereupon the marriage must either be resumed in fairness or dissolved in a goodly manner. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have ever given to your wives unless both (partners) have cause to fear that they may not be able to keep within the bounds set by Allah: hence, if you have cause to fear that the two may not be able to keep within the bounds set by Allah, there shall be no sin upon either of them for what the wife may give up (to her husband) in order to free herself. These are the bounds set by Allah; do not transgress them: for they who transgress the bounds set by Allah - it is they, they are the evildoers!"

In 2/230 Allah (SWT) says "And if he divorces her (a third time), she shall thereafter not be lawful to him unless she marries another man; then, if the latter divorces her, there shall be no sin upon either of the two if they return to one another - provided that both of them think that they will be able to keep within the bounds set by Allah which He makes clear to people of (innate) knowledge."

From the above ayahs it is clear that divorce is a well thought over process which not only involves the couple but also their families and two witnesses. Being such an important matter Allah (SWT) gives two chances for those involved to completely understand and even experience the repercussions of separation. Therefore, for any man of reasonable intelligence the question of reconsidering the decision of separation after going through the divorce process 2 times, will not arise inshaAllah.

As far as remarrying the ex-wife after the third divorce is concerned…Allah (SWT) allows it only in circumstances wherein the lady involved was married to someone else and had been widowed or had been divorced in the usual course of circumstances. We need to keep in mind that whenever 2 people marry, their intention at the time of marriage is to remain married and not to divorce the next day to facilitate the remarriage with the ex-husband. This would amount to making mockery of Allah’s Ayahs as is mentioned in the very next verse 2/231 " And do not make mockery of Allah’s ayahs; but remember Allah's blessings upon you and that which He has revealed to you of the Book and of wisdom, whereby He admonishes you. Observe your duty to Allah and know that Allah is Aware of all things.”

Divorce occurs when the couple involved cannot live together amicably. However, even under such acrimonious circumstances Allah (SWT) advises men in 2/231 "And so, when you divorce women and they are about to reach the end of their waiting term, then either retain them in a good manner or let them go in a good manner. But do not retain them (against their will) to hurt (them): for he who does so sins against himself.” This is again mentioned in 65/2 “Then when they are about to fulfill their waiting term, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner.” These ayahs lay emphasis on good behavior, being kind to the weak, and abstaining from harassing those whom Allah (SWT) has asked men to protect and provide for.

Let us consider the case of a divorced woman who has no male relative who can maintain and protect her and no source of income. What should a good and God-fearing ex-husband do for this woman? Let us search for the answer in the Qura’n. Allah (SWT) says in 2/236 “There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while you have not yet touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed for them their Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage). But provide for them, the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, a reasonable provision is a duty on the good-doers.” Even in cases where the marriage is not consummated Allah (SWT) makes it a duty for good-doers to provide for the ex-wife.

Please note the word used in ayah 2/236 is “Mataa” which occurs many times in the Qura’n and is translated as provision in all the other occurrences. However, only in ayahs concerning divorce this word is mistranslated as “gift” by majority of the translators for reasons best known to them. In 2/241 Allah (SWT) says “And for divorced women, maintenance (should be provided) on a reasonable (scale). This is a duty on the God-fearing.” In this Ayah, providing for the divorcee is a duty on all God-fearing people. If the ex-husband does not provide for his ex-wife, then according to this ayah he is not a god-fearing person.

It is generally believed that maintenance has to be provided to the divorced woman only during the waiting period. However, in 33/49 Allah (SWT) says “O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have consummated the marriage with them, there is no waiting period for them. So provide for them, and set them free in a good manner.” It is clear from this ayah that maintenance is not just limited to the waiting period.

We note that after most of the ayahs concerning divorce Allah (SWT) mentions his attributes - All-Hearer, All-Seer, All-Knower, All-Aware, All-Mighty, All-Wise, reminding us that we cannot escape Him in the least bit. He emphasizes that the (instruction) is an admonition for those who believe in Allah and the Last Day. If we do not follow His instructions in divorce matters it is like not believing in Allah and the Last Day. After all the instructions, Allah (SWT) summarizes in 2/242   Thus Allah makes His ayah (Laws) clear to you, in order that you may understand.”

I end with 3/115 “And whatever good they do, nothing will be rejected from them; for Allah knows well those who are God fearing.

Dr Shehnaz Shaikh